There are days that just aren’t your day. Everyone has those times where things go wrong in one way or another. For those people that decide to break the law, the combination of criminal activity can mix with other bad decisions and lead to cases where you just have to take a moment and think about it. Don’t break the law and temp the fates to land you on a list of dumb criminals; there are enough indignities in your normal life. Here are ten criminals that prove that not all crimes involve a mastermind, and some bad decisions will endure instead of just being forgotten. In no particular order:
Come back in an hour.
Mario Garcia and Domingo Garcia-Hernandez tried to rob a restaurant in Chicago in August of 2013. Late one evening, the duo went to the Clifton Grill restaurant and demanded that the owner give them food, and threatening to kill the owner. The owner said that they were too busy just then, and asked them to come back an hour later. When the pair returned just after midnight and demanded $100 in addition to their food, the owner was able to stall them long enough to call the police.
The Fabric of Justice
Milton Hodges may want to rethink his getaway plans. After his attempt to rob a Lowes Home Improvement store failed to go according to his plans, Hodges fled the scene and jumped a fence across the street. Unfortunately for Hodges, he had jumped into the Cypress Cove Nudist Resort and Spa. He was easily found by the police, as he was one of the few clothed people that officers encountered in their search.
Sorry! Butt-Dialed You.
Every cell phone in the US is required by law to be able to dial 911. This can be as easy as accidentally holding down “9” on some phones. In July 2013, Payton Seth Brewer unwittingly called a 911 operator after a home break-in. Brewer and an accomplice were heard discussing the details of their robbery, and dispatchers traced the call and notified deputies. Brewer was caught while trying to sell the stolen goods at a pawn shop.
Suspects Who Probably Want a Mulligan
Two Maui residents may want a do-over after an incident in November 2014. After finding canine excrement in their yard, Candace Deponte and Aaron Steen allegedly set about menacing their neighbor with golf clubs. As the alleged victim appraised damage to her car’s windshield, Deponte first entered the car and then followed the doe-owner into her home offering further threats of harm. This behavior got Deponte charges of first-degree terroristic threatening, along with felony charges of first degree burglary and unauthorized entry to a vehicle. Steen was charged with terroristic threatening as well as third-degree criminal property damage.
Guns, Drugs, and Pizza
In July of 2014, Philip Engle of Michigan found himself in hot water after a series of bad choices while under the influence of LSD. Engle lived next door to Happy’s Pizza, and one evening paid his neighbors a visit. During the event, Engle: went next door with his three children: wore only a towel: beat the shop’s door until it broke: at which point the gun he was beating the door with went off. His acid-fueled antics led to four misdemeanor charges.
“Drive” may not be the best instruction.
In November of 2013, a man was carjacked in North Hollywood. While that is not exactly unheard-of, the victim of the carjacking kept his wits and got a little creative when the carjacker ordered the victim to drive. The victim coolly drove straight to the nearest police station. Once the carjacker realized what was going on, he fled on foot and was apprehended by police a few blocks away.
“Qu’est-ce que c’est?”
A Calgary woman’s plot was foiled. Her jewelry and electronics were gone, her window was smashed, and she was hysterical when Officer Charanjit Meharu arrived. During the interview with the supposed victim, she took a telephone call from her French-speaking father. In French, she explained to her father over the phone that she was enacting a scam for the insurance money on the items. Her hubris proved to be her undoing, though. Officer Meharu is a polyglot among whose six spoken languages is French.
There is no statute of limitation on murder.
James Washington of Nashville, Tennessee probably got to hear that trite little goody that comes up from time to time on procedural cop dramas. During a heart-attack, Washington confessed to a 17 year-old murder because he thought that he was dying. After making a recovery from the heart attack, Washington’s confession was used to convict him of the murder that he had gotten away with for so many years.
